I just wanted to put these pictures on here. November is over so I can’t stare at my own bum on the wall any more.
I have such a poor autobiographical memory that specific dates rarely stand out. I didn’t even know what today was until a few months ago. I had to look it up. I guess that I was hoping to react in some normal, prescribed way instead of just feeling dead inside.
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This is the last weekend of the summer, and I’m sad not to have gone on any adventures, but at least I can relive old ones.
"I just couldn’t go on. So I went to the train tracks and stood where my sister had stood. I heard the train whistle and waited as the train rushed towards me. But I became afraid and jumped aside. I realized there are two kinds of courage: the courage to live and the courage to die. My sister had the courage to die. Me? I chose the courage to live. Even if I’m alone, I still want to live."
Sakue Shimohira in White Light/Black Rain